Romance Writer

I was trying to see just how many conflicting verb tenses I could squeeze into that previous post.
The companies that publish those romance novels will supposedly pay really good money for submissions they accept. "Dirk Hugecock pointed his member in my direction. I had no choice but to hop onto him and ride like my life depended on it. He came out of the coma just as he came, calling out my sister's name. How could he? Just then our parish priest burst through the hospital room door. 'Father Brown! I thought you were dead!' I say. 'I was!' says father brown. Dirk slips back into his coma mumbling his never ending love for me. Looks like it's just me and the good Father left conscious. Pray for us. We're about to sin right there in the hospital room with my husband who I will divorce if he ever comes back out of his coma. Unless I'm now pregnant with either his or Father Brown's child." Or some such. You could crank that shit out while cooking dinner.