Amigo Gets Personal

'YOU'RE getting into online personals?!'
'That's what I said.'
'This I gotta see, Amigo. What do you write in your profile.'
'So far it's: Like everyone else who checks out these sites I just want to get fucked. Never spoken a word of French but sound like I have a French accent while speaking English. Have odd fetish for hairy toes. Please send photos. If anyone even infers homosexuality on my part I will punch them as hard as I can right in the face. That includes you. There is one more thing potential dates should be aware of. I believe the term is 'water sports'. I'm kind of tight right now so return bus fare will be on you.'
'Any takers?'
'None. It's only been a week.'
'Throw in something about that judge being full of shit.'