Amigo gets nautical

'And all the profanity. Who swears in a blog?'
'I write what I am thinking at the time.'
'Sort of a linguistic empowerment thing?'
'Sort of a white trash thing.'
'I see.'
'And then I wonder aloud whether a one hundred percent inheritance tax would create a true meritocracy, but riddle it with 'fuckin' this and fuckin' that.'
'Speaking of empowerment, guess who just bought a Hummer.'
'Any man who drives a Humvee has a cock the size of my thumb. Guarangodamnteeit.'
'Huh.'
'I passed the written portion of the truckin' test today.'
'Thought of a CB radio name for yourself yet?'
'Going to call my self 'All Beef Paddy'. I told you that. Or 'Gros Boeuf Paddy' if I'm running in Quebec or what's left of New Orleans.'
'Oh yeah. I like it. Remember my boat name?'
'There's no way the nautical people would let you register a sailboat as 'The Cunting Whore'.'
'I forgot to call them and find out about that.'
'How about buy the boat first and then let's see?'
'No, no. I'm calling them tomorrow to see if the name has already been taken.'
'Check the registry online.'

Coffee with Amigo

'You write for an audience on your blog.'
'I write whatever I want.'
'Yeah, but who writes a blog for an audience? And the dialogue? What's up with that?'
'The whole thing is about creative outlet with a bit of a journal of my daily life. This blog gets a lot of hits some weeks.'
'So, what are you up to?'
'Just taking in the quality of life, pretty much.'
'That's it?'
'I have had more deep sleep in the last three weeks than in the whole previous year of my life. Feel fantastic that way. Zero stress for a change.'
'Sleep? You give me sleep?'
'What are you looking for?'
'Dish. Dirt. Spill it.'
'You need a life, Amigo?'
'Who is the Japanese girl?'
'Woman. She's a woman.'
Blank stare. Blink. Blink.
'Listen to Mr. PC. You going to church, too?'
'If she goes, I'll play the game.'
'There's the man.'
'She's from Kyoto. Here studying English.'
'And?'
'And I don't really give a fuck, to be honest.'
'Broken hearted angle. I like it.'
'There's no angle. I just don't care right now. I need to get some other aspects of my life on track for once.'
'Pillar of society all of a sudden.'
'Amigo, come on now. You're going to make me cry. What's up with you?'
'Same old. Like everybody else. You really think you're going to drive trucks?'
'You'll be getting emails from all over the Americas after I get my sea legs at it.'
'What's happening with the comedy?'
'Still plan to try it. Being around people who do it on stage a lot gives you a bunch of info on the process of it.'
'What is your routine about?'
'Man boobs and masturbation amongst homeless men with a bit of stuff from my ESL days.'
'Much comedy there?'
'Most of the males involved in ESL are nuts. If they aren't when they started, after about six months in those circumstances it does a number on them. They start to lose it. At the time they're tough to be around. Looking back, they're just sad.'
'For example?'
'Come to my show and find out. I have about three minutes worth of material now. Plan to get about seven minutes down before I go on stage.'
'You're going to shit yourself up there.'
'I have been speaking in front of people of all ages on and off for the last five years. This is just a variation on it. Trying for a specific response from the group.'
'Give me one line.'
'Give me about another month and I'll give you seven minutes.'

This concludes our dialogue practise day. Stay tuned. I am going to post a brilliant poem that was found on my grandfather after he died.

Truckin'

I start a driving school next Monday to drive big rigs. The course costs a small fortune. I awoke at dawn this morning so see the results of our first snow fall of the season. That means skiing isn't far off.
In the Bladerunner department, our national news ran a story yesterday about a stem cell breakthrough where scientists have announced they can grow specific body parts for people. They showed footage of how they started with cells from someone in the lab. After a while the cells grew and the muscle started to beat like a heart. They showed the video from cell division to the muscle beating. Creepy.

Back To School

All indications are that I will be returning to school for a short time to get some training in a field that actually offers the prospect of long-term employment here. Not 100% sure on things yet.
Spent last weekend at a farm (now country home) that has been in my family for many years. Part of the weekend involved collecting a great many apples from the trees on the property. Enjoyed some sort of apple souffle for dessert that evening. Long walks with four dogs and air that seems a little too fresh after getting out of Korea left me sleeping like a log. Spent part of a day and evening burning off excess wood that had been on the property for many years and started to decay. I had that odd hypnosis you get when staring into a bonfire. Started to carve a walking stick out of a cherry wood branch that I found. That'll be one of my 'a creative a day' projects when I return to the farm. Unless it is found and tossed on the wood stove for warmth.
My uncle does comedy. A comedian who is coming into town to do two gigs this weekend will be staying with us for a couple of days between runs to the club where he will be performing. Never met anyone who actually gets paid to make people laugh before.
After Tokyo, Korea, and Seoul for the last number of years Ottawa is sure taking some getting used to. The major benefit for me is the network I have here.

Addiction

It's strange to walk around in the central area of my hometown and see the effects of severe addiction on some of the people staggering around downtown. It's not like it's just a Western problem but it seems to be more pronounced here. At the same time I know of 5 people I used to work with at the language school I was at in Korea, two Koreans and three North Americans, who had serious addictions. These five people used to get drugs mailed to them in Korea.

The Little Things

Damned good to be home: cinnamon raison bagels, hockey highlights, fresh salmon, real salads, I could go on forever.
Later today I'm going to check out a rental property that my aunt just bought. There is a farm that has been in my family for many, many years. I will be stopping by there to visit with people. Funny, I'm looking forward to seeing people's pet dogs almost as much as the people themselves. I may be in the market for a dog myself soon. Black labrador. My father owned one dog named Duke, then another named Spook. I'll be naming my dog something that ends with 'ook'. I'm thinking maybe 'Cook'. Not pronounced like a chef but like someone who is nuts, maybe spell it 'Kook'.
Swimming in an Olympic sized pool, sane security guards, drinking water from the tap without concern for mortality, Western medicine (socialist:free for all in Canada), fresh air, spatial acuity of people walking around...

Reverse Culture Shock

Where'd all these white people come from?
Very glad to be home, as weird as it feels. My bath in my apartment has a sort of hot tub feature with the bubbles pushed up to give a very relaxing effect. It's the little things that make it nice. I have coughed up a fair bit of Korean air quality since getting back here as my lungs clear with the fresh air.
I was kidding about singing Buddy Holly on the plane in my earlier post. There wasn't any turbulence on any of the flights.